wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
