K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
