I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
