As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
