bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
