no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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