He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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