It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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