And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Shame is for Republicans.
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