I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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