i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
