Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
