I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
