so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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