doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
