i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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