Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize