I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
