you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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