Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
