If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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