Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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