I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Say something about gay babies.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
