Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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