Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
