There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
