i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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