she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's official drugs can't kill me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
