p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
