why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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