Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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