dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
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He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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