I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
