How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
