well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
