whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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