no. you can't hotbox the world.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
