those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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