Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize