my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
