yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
