You just made me feel so damn special
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize