I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
