I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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