During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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