apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
