Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
