she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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