So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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