Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
