Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
