he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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