Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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