I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
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well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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