I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
