Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
