And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
