Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
