he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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