I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
