let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize