I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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