Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
