i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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